Christlike Mothering

I had just swept the final collection into the pile.”Pretzels, captain crunch, popcorn, cheerios, chips…” I spouted off to anyone listening. “Nope. I didn’t eat any of these things,” I continued, as I brushed the last of the pile into the dustpan.

The only person listening at the table said quietly, “It’s the mother’s atonement.”

... This is a snippet of a great article. Here is the link

Effective prayers

Nephi teaches us what to pray for. He doesn't ask the Lord to change his circumstance or to get him out of a huge mess, but rather prays for personal strength to change his circumstances.

Our prayers as parents can become more effective as we take accountability. Our children's understanding of prayer is increased when we teach them this concept.

“The journey of a lifetime, as described by President McKay, is to go from bad to good to better and to have our very natures changed. And the Book of Mormon is replete with examples of disciples and prophets who knew and understood and were transformed by the enabling power of the Atonement in making that journey. May I suggest, brothers and sisters, that as we come to better understand this sacred power, our gospel perspective will be greatly enlarged and enriched. Such a perspective will change us in remarkable ways. “Nephi is an example of one who knew and understood and relied upon the enabling power of the Savior. In 1 Nephi 7 we recall that the sons of Lehi had returned to Jerusalem to enlist Ishmael and his household in their cause. Laman and others in the party traveling with Nephi from Jerusalem back to the wilderness rebelled, and Nephi exhorted his brethren to have faith in the Lord. It was at this point in their trip that Nephi’s brothers bound him with cords and planned his destruction. Now please note Nephi’s prayer in verse 17: “O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound”. “Brothers and sisters, do you know what I likely would have prayed for if I had been tied up by my brothers? My prayer would have included a request for something bad to happen to my brothers and ended with the phrase “wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren” or, in other words, “Please get me out of this mess, now!” It is especially interesting to me that Nephi did not pray, as I probably would have prayed, to have his circumstances changed. Rather, he prayed for the strength to change his circumstances. And may I suggest that he prayed in this manner precisely because he knew and understood and had experienced the enabling power of the Atonement of the Savior. “I personally do not believe the bands with which Nephi was bound just magically fell from his hands and wrists. Rather, I suspect that he was blessed with both persistence and personal strength beyond his natural capacity, that he then “in the strength of the Lord” (Mosiah 9:17) worked and twisted and tugged on the cords and ultimately and literally was enabled to break the bands.  

Elder David A. Bednar, In the Strength of the Lord, BYU Devotional, October 23, 2001

Be sensitive.

At different ages, we go through things that seem unsurmountable. For my three year old, up until last month cleaning his room was unsurmountable. So, almost every time (each morning) it was time to clean his room I could expect some screaming, some pouting, and almost always tears.

This was hard. Really hard. And I get it. His room seems like a piece of cake to me but when my whole house is a bomb I want to scream, pout, and cry too! It can be overwhelming and can feel unsurmountable.

This article has a cute story about a broken cookie that describes this perfectly. Remember their tears, fits, or tantrums are their way of communicating; "I'm stressed!", "This is overwhelming!", "I'm exhausted!", "I need a break (nap)!"

We (as parents) have a lot to learn...

'While we are trying to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.' -Angela Schwindt

I am a young mom, so my journey as a mother has been fairly short, so when I read a talk from Boyd K. Packer that taught "we learn far more about what really matters from our children than we ever did from our parents" I sat back in awe thinking of that for a long time. I thought to myself, "There is noooo way. My parents have taught me so much! How can I possibly learn more in my next 23 years of life than I did in my first 23 years of life?"

After a lot of contemplation and complete faith in my leaders I know that what Elder Packer said is true! And I am so grateful to know that my kids will continue to help me learn and grow!

Link to this talk

What to teach our sons & what to teach our daughters.

THIS KNOWLEDGE IS BEING LOST IN THE WORLD, WISH I COULD SING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!

'I am convinced that one of the reasons for the breakup of so many couples today is the failure of parents to teach and train sons in their responsibility to provide and care for their families and to enjoy the challenge this responsibility brings. Many of us also have fallen short in instilling within our daughters the desire of bringing beauty and order into their homes through homemaking.'  -L. Tom Perry

Link to this talk 

*If we teach our children to find joy in honest labor our sons will have an easier adjustment in pursuing a career and our daughters will have an easier adjustment in motherhood.

Angels

'A child is an angel dependent on man.' -Joseph Marie De Maistre

The work of childhood

'Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.' -Fred Rogers

Encourage play and creativity!

You can't spoil an infant!

Remember, babies are spoil-proof. They don't have the knowledge to manipulate you to get what they want. If you respond quickly to your baby his self-worth grows and his trust in you increases. Don't ever hold back on loving them!

Link to article

Creativity

Talk at a Women's Conference. A young mom shared how her mother instilled creativity in her.

link to the talk.

Janine Clarke passed this along and also included,

'To all mothers (or future mothers)-- You are powerful! You are marvelous! You shape families, neighborhoods and nations. Your quiet service is recorded in heaven. Keep going,keep giving, keep creating, keep developing, keep smiling! May God bless you for all that your do."

Consistency & Boundaries

Consistency and Boundaries are key to healthy child development.

This article gives us examples from a family practicing both. They value character over schedules. So, they might not be 100% consistent with dinner at 6:00 p.m. but they are consistent with teaching honesty and kindness. Your consistency will gain your child's trust.

Behavior

"The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than talking about behavior will improve behavior."- Boyd K. Packer

link to talk 

*Great reminder for parents to feast in the scriptures daily. The doctrine of Christ is a sure way to improve our lives and then we will have the knowledge to teach our children.

Wisdom Bank Account

Help your children learn lessons to fill up their wisdom bank account. Make sure not to rescue them, sometimes rescuing them from life, hurts them more than helps them. They don't learn valuable lessons that can be stocked away into their wisdom bank account.
If you let them learn it the first time, they are less likely to be repeat offenders.

Our wisdom bank account is our own personal knowledge that we have acquired through experience.

Praise over Punishment

Praise is often a more powerful behavior modification than punishment!

Build up your children, focus on the positive! My mom says even if your child walks in with blue hair, tattoos, and a bad attitude, build them up! Even if the only good thing you can say is they're breathing, compliment that… just make sure your sincere.

Your Luster

"Motherhood polishes your own luster."- Julie Souter

It is better to Educate than Tolerate

Have you ever blown-up at one of your children? If so, it was probably because they had repetitively done something that you are not ok with. If it was there first time you might have had more patience right?

Remember it is better to....

Educate, Educate, Educate. Consequence.

(Explain why you are not alright with the behavior they are doing and warn them what will happen if it continues.)

than to....

Tolerate, Tolerate, Tolerate. Blow-up.

Kids Watch & Learn

Growing up, my mom has always reminded me to use kind tones. My mom would sweetly say the word, 'tones' and it reminded my siblings and I that it often wasn't what we were saying but how we were saying it that soured the mood of our home.

link to talk
link to website

'Who You Are' by Hilary Weeks

Have you ever had a day, you felt like you got nothing done?

 This song is a great pick-me up after a day of feeling that hardly a thing was accomplished

'WHO YOU ARE' by Hilary Weeks

I know you wonder
If youll ever have a day
Where the kids stay calm, the laundrys done
And the dishes are put away

And sometimes you feel like
Your days are spent and gone
And the question running through your mind
Is what have I gotten done
And when you finally have a moment to slow down
At the end of your day I know Father would say

Believe in what youre doing
Believe in who you are
And hold tight to the truth that youre a daughter of God
Believe in who youre becoming, believe in who you are

Now it might seem simple
All the little things you do
But the lives you touch matter so much
And theres no one else like you

And Father needs you to stand tall and faithful
To be all you can be
Oh, if you could see what he sees

Youd believe in what youre doing
Youd believe in who you are
So hold tight to the truth that youre a daughter of God
Believe in who youre becoming, believe in who you are

And when its hard to believe in yourself
And you feel like youre beginning to doubt
Remember

That he believes in what youre doing
He believes in who you are
So dont lose sight of the truth that youre a daughter of God
That he believes in who youre becoming, He believes in who you are

Are we asking the right questions?

There is an ever growing trend of mother's asking if they are happy. And in answer to that question some are leaving the home to find more fulfillment.

As we do soul-searching it is important to make sure we are asking the right questions.

Visualize scouring your bathroom. If you asked yourself,

"Am I happy scrubbing this toilet?"

Your thoughts and feelings could quite naturally feel disgusted and entitled to be doing something more 'worthwhile'.
Now visualize the same scenario but replace that question with,

"What can I learn from scrubbing this toilet?"

Self-talk is powerful."Why" questions often are victim-based. If we re-phrase with "what" questions we will find we are taking an active role to bettering our life.

Finding JOY as a MOM

My mom is the most incredible example of this! She is so happy to be home, home with her kids. Growing up, she would always squeeze me so tight and express to me how sad she was that summer was coming to an end. I have heard most mom's express the exact opposite. They are thrilled and counting down the moments for their kids to get back into school to give the mom a little extra freedom.

I was so blessed to have a mom that didn't see it that way. She found JOY in being a mom. It is what she looked forward to, It is what she planned her day around, we were the center of her world. I can't even tell you the security and love I have as an adult because of a mom that cherished her role and a father that honored his role.

It takes effort, but it is possible for every mother to enjoy what they do. And feel complete! Not needing or aspiring for anything more than the noblest of them all, a MOTHER!