Marriage

EMAIL FROM MY MOM!… good tips on marriage :)

Thank-You Awesome Kids for coming to the temple that day meant more than I could ever express.  Just like when Jesus spoke to the Nephites and told them, "Because of your faith..., my joy is full.  And when he had said these words, he wept."  3 Nephi 17:20-21  I too felt that joy over each of you at the temple.  I could not have felt any greater joy than to witness my children's faith by being worthy to be in the House of the Lord.  Building and strengthening your faith is the greatest gift you can give your parents.  And each of you did just that as we watched each of you come into the Celestial Room.   I have been blessed to watch Tess and Matt as they cherish each other (before and now after marriage, last night they came by and it was fun to watch their joy and happiness with one another) my heart is so grateful and joyous.  I just want to remind you all that your marriage relationship is truly something to treasure and honor.  Remind yourself to not take it for granted, remember how fragile it is and the way to strengthen it is through 1. Cherish the Lord and the gospel and live the commandments and read your scriptures daily.  2.  Cherish and smile and make time for your best friend. Sometimes we get caught up in life and we think our relationship can endure life without much effort but our relationship will take a heavy toll if we don't do the little things along the way.  Say,"I love you everyday", greet each other with a kiss and tenderness each time you come in the door, or leave. Do something nice for your spouse.  Talk often to your spouse. Smile and laugh often with your spouse.  Take care of your duties and responsibilities. (Your spouse will feel more secure)  I can't believe how critical having a nicely prepared meal for your husband is.  I would say next to scriptures and prayer together and sharing time with our kids together the very next biggest thing I did to show my love and care to Steve and the kids was to have a nice meal on the table almost every night.  Definitely take a night off for date night.  Nothing says love to a man better than having the house picked up and a nice meal on the table. It really says something to the heart of the guy.  This may sound old fashioned but this one is kind of true, "the way to a man's heart is his stomach".   And for the husbands pitch in and help with the kids but do it together.  I feel so sad for the guy that every night he comes home from work and the wife hands him the kids a box of macaroni and cheese and skips out the door with the girls.  Just like I wouldn't like it if the guy, came home each night and took off with the guys for ball.  Maybe once every week or something but the security for the kids and the spouse is in building healthy home habits together.  Dinner and playing with the kids will bring such security and joy.  Clean up the kitchen together after dinner and laugh and talk, play with the kids together and help the kids get ready for bed together if you can.  It will increase your enjoyment of your children and it will increase your love for your spouse.  It is sad that this healthy tradition seems to be disappearing.  I know each of you do this, but I have to add my strong conviction and reminder of this to my kids and to myself.  Just as the scriptures remind us daily to remember important truths- these truths need to be reinforced too.  When your families are young is when you start building these foundational habits.  Make sure you make time for scriptures each day and prayer morning and night.  Your personal direction, spiritual focus, and joy will increase.  Put the Lord first, hold to the rod, cherish the people in your life, and find the joy!  Laura Schlessinger says these same principles but much better.  These are proven principles.  I know you all are so busy but put the big rocks in first and all else will fall into place.  Thanks for letting your mom do her mothering still:)  Have a wonderful day.  We loved having Josh and Crystal, wow they are amazing husband and wife and parents.  And what a joy and blessing having Ryan and Nikki move back to Utah!!!!   You all are such a joy to me, I couldn't be prouder.  Thanks for being the salt of the earth, savoring everyone around you with a righteous example.  Thanks for loving and living the gospel and being faithful to your Heavenly  Father.  Dad and I love each of you and we can't believe what incredible spouses each of you have and are, and what a powerful combination you make together and what precious children each of you have too!
Love, Mom